


Panic

by Novelist_Becca



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Don't interpret this as a ship, Eda's had panic attacks before, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Gen, Good Parent Eda Clawthorne, Hurt/Comfort, Luz Noceda Needs a Hug, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-Young Blood Old Souls, and nightmares, eda is a good mom, protective eda, she gets one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:21:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26972806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Novelist_Becca/pseuds/Novelist_Becca
Summary: Luz wakes up after her first nightmare after escaping the Emperor.
Relationships: Eda Clawthorne & Luz Noceda
Comments: 9
Kudos: 198
Collections: Eda and Luz are family





	1. Luz's Perspective

**Author's Note:**

> It's obvious that Luz wouldn't have come out of saving Eda without getting some trauma.

Luz saw nothing but darkness. It scared her. It felt cold, and she felt like something was following her. Then she saw a green light, and started to follow it. 

Luz ran towards the green light and stopped. She froze and covered her mouth with a gasp at what she saw. 

Eda, in her owl beast form, was turned to stone. 

Luz felt like throwing up. This didn't make sense. She  _ saved _ Eda from being petrified, so why was she…? 

Several voices interrupted her train of thought. 

_ “It's your fault. You couldn't save her.” _

_ “Eda is dead because of YOU.” _

The voices sounded like a combination of her friends and family’s voices. Luz was close to crying. 

“No…no, I…”

_ “Maybe if you were good enough, Eda would still be alive.”  _

_ “This little ‘family’ you think you made? It's a fantasy.”  _

Before Luz’s eyes, Eda’s petrified form crumbled and turned to dust. 

_ Your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault-- _

Luz woke with a gasp. She looked around, and saw that she was back in her room in the Owl House. 

Her vision started to blur with tears. It was a dream, but it felt so  _ real.  _ Her heart was pounding, and it was starting to get hard to breathe. It felt like she was suffocating. 

Suddenly Luz felt something touch her, and she flinched, instinctually shoving whatever touched her back. She scrambled back until she was against a wall. Then she curled into herself, closing her eyes. Anything to protect herself from the silhouetted figure before her. Breathing really hurt now. Her head started to hurt, and her body started to feel numb.

“Luz!” The voice sounded familiar, but the ringing in her ears made it difficult to place. 

“Hey hey hey, it's okay.” Luz could sense the person coming closer. 

Then she felt strong hands on her arms. She tried to wiggle away, but she was stuck. “No no, don't fight me…" she felt the hands go to her shoulders. "Luz, look at me. It's me, it's Eda. You need to breathe.” The voice gently commanded. 

Luz didn't want to look. “N-no, y-y-you're not, she's-”

“Please, Luz, open your eyes?” The voice was starting to sound worried.

Luz opened her eyes and started to look up. The person held her face with their hands and forced her to look at them. “Look at me. Look into my eyes.” 

Her vision was still blurred, but she saw one gold eye and one grey eye. She only knew one person with those color eyes. “E-E-Eda?” She choked out. 

“Yes, that's right, it's me, kiddo.” Eda sounded relieved. But Luz was still shaken up. She could feel tears rolling down her cheeks as her breathing started to quicken again as she tried to talk. 

“I'm so sorry, I-” she coughed harshly.

Eda brought Luz into her arms. “Shh, no no no, don't do that, don't talk, you'll make it worse.” She pressed Luz's head to her chest where she could hear a faint heartbeat. “Hear that? Focus on me, okay? Just listen to me. Listen to my voice. You're gonna be okay. I'm here.”

Luz nodded weakly, feeling Eda bring her closer. 

“I need you to breathe, okay? Now just inhale through your nose slowly for 6 seconds,” Luz took a breath. “Good, now just exhale through your mouth for 7 seconds.” She let it out. “That's it, there we go. Let's do that again.” She felt Eda’s hand come up to ruffle her hair.

Luz gradually regained her senses, but then the memory of the nightmare wormed its way back into her head. Her breathing began to quicken again. 

“Luz, no! Stay with me, kid. Stay with me.” Eda’s voice urges. Her hold on Luz tightened. “I'm not gonna let go, everything’s going to be fine. Just breathe with me. In and out. In, and out.” Luz followed the instructions. “That's it, you're doing great.” 

The feeling of Eda’s embrace and the sound of her voice was enough to ground the girl. For now, the nightmare was pushed to the back of her head. Luz felt safe in Eda's arms, knew she could protect her, magic or no magic. She began to relax as she focused on her mentor’s heartbeat, a reminder that Eda was alive and well. Her vision started to clear, and Luz finally used her strength to look up at the woman holding her. 

“Eda?” Luz croaked. 

“Yup, it's me, kid.” Eda said, sounding relieved. She gently held Luz back, keeping her hands on her shoulders. “You really gave me a scare. Looked like you were about to pass out.” She brushed some hair out of her eyes. “You wanna tell me what happened?” 

Luz’s eyes widened. “The nightmare, it was, um…you were stone, in your cursed form. I…I saw you turn to dust!” She tried hard not to cry. “I'm  _ so  _ sorry…” she failed, throwing herself around Eda as she cried. 

“I'm okay, kiddo! Come on, don't fall apart on me again…” Eda half-joked, rubbing circles on the girl’s back. She sounded close to crying too. 

“It's my fault you were captured, my fault you were about to get petrified, if I hadn't been so  _ stupid _ and wandered off…” Luz started rambling, but Eda cut her off, taking her face in her hands. 

“ _ No _ . You listen to me. Don't you  _ dare _ blame yourself for that.  _ None _ of that is your fault, you hear me? I don't want to hear you say that about yourself, and if anyone tries to convince you otherwise, you can bet I'll make them pay.” Eda insists. “And before you say so, I don't blame you and I never will.”

Luz took a deep breath. “Okay. You're right.” Eda used her thumb to brush away Luz’s tears. 

“You'll always have me, okay? I'm here for you."

“Mm-hm.” Luz started to feel drowsy again. She looked to Eda. “Stay?”

Eda looked a little surprised, but smiled. “Sure. I'll be right beside you if you need me.” 

“Thank you, Eda. I love you so much.” 

“…I love you too, Luz.”


	2. Eda's Perspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eda finds her kid and comforts her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The italics are Eda's thoughts.

Eda was on her way back to her room with a glass of water when she heard a noise come from her apprentice’s room. Immediately, she was worried.  _ That was Luz _ , she told herself. Without hesitation, she rushed to the door, placing her hand on the knob, ready to turn. 

She knocked. “Luz, is that you?” No answer. She knocked again, a little harder this time. “Can I come in?” Then Eda heard crying, and that was enough for her to twist the doorknob and just let herself in. 

Sure enough, Luz was upright on her sleeping bag, face in her hands, body starting to tremble. It was a truly heartbreaking sight. 

Eda kneeled in front of her and reached out. “Kid, are you-” She asked. But as soon as her hand made contact with the girl’s shoulder, she was shoved back, making her stumble and land on her bottom. “Luz!” 

Eda slowly got on her knees, making her way towards Luz as the poor girl backed herself up into a wall, looking scared senseless. She began to hyperventilate and proceeded to curl into herself, eyes shut tight, head hanging low, and hands clutching her hair. 

_ Titan almighty. _

Eda brought up her hands to show she meant no harm, even if Luz wasn't looking. It hurt to see her apprentice like  _ this.  _ She was shaking so much, it looked like she was about to fall apart. 

“Hey hey hey, it's okay,” Eda attempted when she was finally at arms length with Luz. She was breathing too fast, and her grip on her hair was so hard she might hurt herself. Eda summoned her nerve and put her hands on Luz’s forearms, moving her hands away from her head. Sure enough, Luz tried to struggle, but Eda was stronger. “No no, don't fight me…” she said. She moved her hands from Luz’s arms to her shoulders. She  _ needed _ to pull Luz from her mind,  _ needed _ her to  _ breathe.  _

“Luz, look at me. It's me, it's Eda. You need to breathe.” She demanded softly. But Luz shook her head. 

“N-no, y-y-you’re not, she’s…” Luz murmured weakly. 

_ Oh, so this is about the other night. _

Eda's heart cracked. Luz didn't deserve this pain. She tried again. “Please, Luz, open your eyes?” 

Finally, Luz’s eyes cracked open, and she started to raise her head. Eda took the opportunity to gently take her face in her hands, making her look up. “Look at me. Look into my eyes.” She says to the panic-stricken girl. It hurt to see her kid like this. 

Thankfully, Luz’s eyes began to focus and she looked at Eda with a confused expression. “E-E-Eda?” She stammered out. 

Eda nodded, glad that Luz knows she's there for her. “Yes, that's right, it's me, kiddo.” She says, relieved. But the crisis wasn't averted just yet. Luz was still practically gasping for air. 

“I'm so sorry, I-” the sentence was interrupted by a harsh cough. 

Eda shook her head and took a shaking Luz in her arms, holding her close, but not too tight so as not to suffocate her. “Shh, no no no, don't do that, don't talk, you'll make it worse.” She chided. Eda has had her own panic attacks when the curse was still fresh in her body, but a small number of people were there to help her. Despite that, she knew how to get through them, and if anyone deserved the help, it was Luz. 

_ I know you're scared, Luz, but I know you trust me. _

She pressed Luz’s head to her chest so she could hear her heartbeat. “Hear that?”  _ I'm alive thanks to you.  _ “Focus on me, okay? Just listen to me. Listen to my voice. You're gonna be okay. I'm right here.” Eda cooed to the girl. She felt her nod, and Eda brought her closer and soothingly rubbed her back, wanting to make her feel as safe as possible, and prayed her hands wouldn't tremble, lest she scare her further. She wanted to help Luz through this. She wasn't used to comforting anybody like this, but didn't want anybody else but her to do this.

“I need you to breathe, okay? Now just inhale through your nose slowly for 6 seconds,” Eda instructed taking a deep breath to demonstrate, and noted Luz taking in a shaky breath. “Good, now just exhale through your mouth for 7 seconds.” And Luz let it out. Eda could feel Luz’s tension start to go away.  _ That's my girl.  _ “That's it, there we go. Let's do that again.” Eda praised, bringing her hand up to ruffle Luz's hair. 

They went through this a few more times, but Luz whimpered and began to tense up again and hyperventilate in her arms, almost making Eda panic, too. She tightened her grip, looking down at her. 

“Luz, no! Stay with me kid. Stay with me.” Eda noted her own voice beginning to shake. “I'm not gonna let go, everything's going to be fine.” she promised. “Just breathe with me. In and out, in, and out.” And Luz shifted closer to her as she began to breathe steadily again. “That's it, you're doing great.” 

Eda didn't know how long they were sitting there, but she didn't care. She held Luz for as long as she needed. Eventually, Luz stopped shaking and had the strength to look up at her mentor. 

“Eda?” She said hoarsely.  _ Her throat must be dry after that episode,  _ Eda thought. 

“Yup, it's me, kid.” Eda nodded, sighing in relief. She held Luz back, keeping her hands on her shoulders to ground them both. “You really gave me a scare. Looked like you were about to pass out.” Eda brushed some hair out of Luz’s face. “You wanna tell me what happened?” 

Luz’s eyes widened. She threw herself back into Eda’s embrace as she talked about her nightmare. Just as she thought, it was about her near-petrification. “I'm okay, kiddo! Come on, don't fall apart on me again…” Eda said in a joking manner. But Luz didn't cheer up. And on top of that, Luz  _ blamed herself. _

“It's my fault you were captured, my fault you were about to get petrified, if I hadn't been so  _ stupid  _ and wandered off…” Eda would have  _ none of that.  _ She took Luz's face in her hands. 

“ _ No.  _ You listen to me. Don't you  _ dare  _ blame yourself for that.” She stated firmly. “ _ None  _ of that is your fault, you hear me? I don't want to hear you say that about yourself. And if anyone tries to convince you otherwise, you can bet I'll make them pay.” She insists. Luz was about to say something, but Eda cut her off. “And before you say so, I don't blame you and I never will.” 

Luz took another deep breath and smiled. “Okay. You're right.” Eda used her thumb to brush away her tears, noting Luz leaning into her hands. Once again they were in each other’s arms, Eda stroking Luz’s hair.

“You'll always have me,” Eda reassured. “Okay? I'm here for you.”  _ And Titan help anyone that tries to hurt you again.  _

Luz nodded and pulled back, looking at her with trusting eyes. Eda would never admit it, but she's amazed that a child is able to trust her this easily. 

As Luz forced herself to stay awake, she looked at Eda and took a breath. “Stay?” She asked groggily. 

Eda kinda expected that, but was still surprised. She couldn't turn that down after what just happened. “Sure. I'll be right beside you if you need me.” Then she tucked Luz in and took a spot beside the sleeping bag, facing Luz with a fond look in her eyes. 

“Thank you, Eda. I love you so much…” Luz said before drifting off. 

“…I love you too, Luz.” Eda returned. 

As Luz appeared to sleep peacefully, Eda softly stroked her apprentice’s cheek before resting her hand on her shoulder. For both their comfort. 

Eda knew how Luz felt. She knew she felt like she was dying when she really wasn't, when in reality she was fine. Right now, Eda would give anything for her to not experience this again, but she knew it wouldn't be the last time. Luz may have been brave and determined to save Eda, but she didn't come out of it unscathed. But whenever Luz broke down, Eda would be there for her. It was what she deserved. Eda wouldn't let her girl break.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you could probably tell, this was my favorite chapter to write.
> 
> \- I'd imagine that during the time Eda first had her curse, it scared her to the point where she would have anxiety attacks too. For crying out loud, she was cursed when she was a child! I was thinking of writing a prequel story where King helps a young Eda through a panic attack.
> 
> \- I sure hope this wasn't OOC to anybody. But Eda is an empathetic person, so I don't think she would ever let anybody, much less a kid that reminded her of herself, go through what she went through.


End file.
